Why yes, Mommy IS hyperventilating...

So I lately I keep having small panic attacks that usually stem from spending time with my children.  I do not exaggerate.

Years ago I used to have occasional panic attacks and it took me a while to figure out what was going on.  I went to the doctor and was given some pills that I only took one time; they made me feel dizzy and tired and my vision got blurry.  My heart rate slowed a bit and I had to sleep.  Not a good choice for a mother of two. 

Yeah so that wouldn't be an option for me now as a mother of three.  Almost every day for the last week I have had a period of time where the stress has been too much for me.  My chest tightens and I start to hyperventilate.  I feel super short of breath and I can't think clearly.  As a matter of fact, this is exactly how I feel right now at this moment while I am typing this post.  I'm kind of freaking out a little bit.

The thing that freaks me out the most?  The fact that it's only little, everyday, normal things that are setting me off.  It's just small conflicts with my kids.  Hearing them argue sets it off.  Hearing a whine sets it off.  Seeing that they didn't close the back door and are letting in all the flies sets it off.  Asking me a question sets it off.  Hearing them ask me for the third time if they can play on the ipod sets it off.  Seeing a mess sets it off.  Heck, hearing a loud noise sets me off.  And most of all having them climb on me and touch my face insistantly sets it off.

Keep in mind that these specific things don't always set off a panic attack.  These things are the last straw.  To what you ask?  I don't know.  That's what is so bothersome.  I don't really see a pattern here except that my children are always involved.

Now Farm Boy is waving a toy in my face and the pain has started again.  Ugh, I need a day at the spa or at least an hour to myself.  Really though, I don't know if that will make any difference.

Sigh.