Monday, April 28, 2008


This morning before Charming left to school, Buttercup was running around in circles and then enthusiastically said, "Daddy! Fluff me!" Awkward silence followed. Charming replied, "I don't think that would be appropriate........ "

I had a good chuckle. Still not sure what "fluff me" means.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Happy Birthday To Me!

My 25th birthday was this week, and although I approached it with caution, it turned out better than I had previously imagined. Birthdays are always big for me, coming in a close 2nd to Christmas, and so I love all the hype building up to it and then the grand finale, which includes: cake, candles, tons of notes from friends (I received several on facebook and on my email--thanks!), a big family dinner, a small showering of presents, the official and traditional story-telling of my birth, and pretty much just me being the queen of the day. I knew that this year would be a bit different seeing as how I live 1,000 miles away from "home". Cutting that out pretty much deletes most of the above, but luckily I have a fabulous husband (more posts coming on him sometime in the future) who was anxiously concerned for my birthday happiness throughout the day, and it didn't go unnoticed.

I could go on and on about the details of the day, but in the end it boiled down to getting home around 8:00 from a (mandatory) ward function, finishing my cake (Charming's job), blowing out the candles, opening presents, and then talking on the phone with family for the next couple of hours. I am so loved that the party continued on into the next day when I received more phone calls and finally my mother's package arrived! She always comes up with a fun array of gifts from her collection under her bed. Throughout the year she buys do-dads that are on sale (books, makeup, movies, purses, etc.), and then gives them as gifts for whatever occasion is coming up. Often these treasures wind up in our stockings come Christmas! This year I received several do-dads along with obvious specialty items. I know they are specialty items because they are just a little too expensive to be bought on a whim to be put under the bed, and they are quite particular to me.
Some of my birthday gift highlights were:

A purse I found crazy-cheap at Kohl's, given to me from "Buttercup and Lou Lou".

Several pairs of sterling silver earrings from my adoring husband. Gotta love the bling bling.

Two Weight Watchers cookbooks from my sweet in-laws. I've been wanting these forever!!!

And coming in the mail a day late, but definitely not too late for me--the 1st season of A&E's Jeeves and Wooster. I already had seasons 2 through 4, and seasons 1 has now completed my cherished set. Thank you Mama!

And now a word about Jeeves and Wooster. I am quite positive that most of you haven't seen this incredible work of art. It is essentially very good British comedy, starring Hugh Laurie (you know him from House--in fact, he plays House). The series is full of 1920's British silliness including the escapades of a young dandy (Wooster), and his helpful "man"--Jeeves--who is continually getting Wooster out of scrapes. I would rank the writings of P.G. Wodehouse (who wrote the books the series is based on), along side the likes of Oscar Wilde. Hilarious subtle British comedy. Unfortunately, almost everyone I know does not understand or appreciate British comedy the way it was meant to be appreciated--or loved, in my case. Usually my "investigators", stare at the screen, not following the plot or the subtle facial expressions or slight sarcastic jabs. Charming is my favorite, because he has loved me enough to give British comedy a try and has found a liking for it. In fact, I am quite shocked at his wit--there's more to the man than meets the eye! As for the rest of you (and I don't mean you HRH, or a few of my cousins who have read P.G. Wodehouse), you're missing out on a treat! And I've got the entire collection. Happy Birthday to me!!!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

We Have Some Explaining To Do

I have to get something off my chest. It has been bugging me for days and is getting worse and worse. No it is not one of my children. In light of all the media attention on the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (aka. polygamists), I would like to state loud and clear that these people are not Mormons. They are not a "Mormon sect", or "Mormon polygamists". These groups broke away from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the 1890's. Mormon polygamists DO NOT EXIST. The media has been continually referring to them this way, and it is pushing me past the breaking point. Get it right people. Not just for the sake of getting your facts straight, but also in respect for the LDS religion. That is all.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Modest is Hottest

It is finally warming up here in the land of never ending ice and wind, and the inevitable wardrobe hunt has begun. After swishing the hangers in my closet back and forth several times and realizing that something new (and preferrable cute) was not going to magically appear, I decided it was time to make a charitable contribution to my closet. My sweetie, Charming, offered to stay home with the girlies while I went shopping (he knows it's for his own good if he stays behind), so off I went.

Last week I had attempted to go Spring shopping, but just ended up buying all the $3 sweaters off the sale rack. I knew this week would be different, and I came home triumphant. I wound up with a couple pairs of shorts, and several tops appropriate for warm weather, not to mention a new pink dress I will be sporting some Sunday very soon (I just need to find the right shoes--any suggestions? or donations?). Later Charming took me out to dinner for my upcoming birthday (again, any donations?;) and we had a lovely time at a great little seafood restaurant.

Life is wonderful--isn't that what Spring is all about? I've been waiting and waiting for Spring like it's my birthday (and it is), and I think it has finally arrived. That means birds tweeting, children swinging, garden planting, walk taking, cute-outfit wearing, flowers blooming and other such twitter-patting nonsense.

On the downside--and unfortunately there is a downside--the sluts come out. I sincerely apologize if you are offended by my phrasology, but it is the pure and simple truth. Warm weather (and around here that means fifty degrees) brings out the sluts. Everywhere you go there they are, in their unflattering little shorts, and hoochie-mama tops. The short, the tall, the fat, the thin, the ugly, and even the would-have-been-beautiful-if-you-hadn't-been-wearing-that-slutty-outfit! I ask you, why do people feel the need to bare all when the thermometer gets a little heated? What could sleeves hurt? Or just a couple more inches on your skirt? Maybe it's just me (I highly doubt it), but these revealing clothes never do us justice--they're just too distracting, and I don't mean that in a good way. Too much skin is never flattering. So, I suppose there is a benefit after all to living in a place where it's Winter 7 months of the year--people have to wear sweaters.

Thank you for letting me "rant". I am aware, after spending four years at BYU and still seeing a few too many bums and bosoms, that my annoyances have no hope of going away. In the meantime I will put blinders on my husband and just tell my girls that those people were too poor to buy an entire outfit.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

All Dressed-Up and Nowhere To Go

Yesterday Buttercup decided she wanted to get into the dress-ups. I "hide" the dress-ups in the corner behind our big sofa-chair, in order to minimize their use. The few times a month Buttercup manages to remember the dress-ups existence, the blouses and skirts and purses and shoes and tiaras and scarves and belts and leotards get scattered all around the house. Buttercup is familiar with each item--most of which have been bestowed on her by adoring grandparents (thank you so much)--and she knows how to get the most out of her spoils. I have been quite shocked at some of the fashion statements she has made, such as wearing turtlenecks on her head for veils etc., but the best outfits have been the simplest.

Buttercup's statement of choice yesterday, and continuing on into today, has included a lime-green swimsuit/leotard with a picture of Tinkerbell on the front, with petal-like wispy thingies adorning her waste, and a serious wedgie thrown into the mix. She could have called it good from there, but she hadn't forgotten the most important of accessories--shoes. Her feet sported plastic red highheels with a picture of Snow White on the front, surrounded in mounds of fluff. Throughout the day if you listened carefully, you could hear the click, click, click of Buttercup's heels as she pranced around the house in her garb. She was hott, and she knew it. I'm telling you, the kid's confidence levels rose drastically when wearing said outfit.

As I watched her, I realized that this outfit on any adult would send an entirely different message--desperate, nuts, white-trash, and last-but-not-least: woman of the night. That's probably why we don't don these sort of get-ups. But children can and they do. They get away with so much more than we adults could possibly attempt (not that we would necessarily want to). For instance, what if we all wore onesies and sailor hats? Or had sponge-bob on our underwear? (I have actually seen grown-up underwear at Walmart with Spongebob, please tell me you refrain.)

I remember being about eight years old and wearing blood-red lipstick every day for a week (this must have happened during summer vacation, because I can't imagine my mother sending me out the door that way). I also frequently wore my mother's full-body slip and would don one of those thick, eighties-style headbands on top of my head like a crown. Often, when I was over six years old, I would wear my swimsuit and stuff it with socks to give myself a bosom. Now this was a little funny for my parents to witness, but keep in mind that it doesn't make it okay for adults! As a child I had no idea how ridiculous I looked; on the contrary, I felt beautiful and glamorous. My confidence soared when I expressed myself in this fashion. I am sure that my husband, friends, and family are all pleased that I do not continue to show my wild side in this avenue. That's why we take pictures, so we never have to dress up like that again and then we can embarrass ourselves at future family gatherings, wedding videos, and the like.

Do you have any funny stories about you or your children? Especially ones that are made hilarious in the context of adulthood?

Friday, April 11, 2008


I woke up today and immediately went "Ughhh". I saw the entire day ahead of me and wasn't looking forward to the routine. Still, I don't have the option of rolling over and going back to bed. Children were calling "Mama!", and Charming was getting ready to go out the door to school. Responsibility and adulthood call--and of course I answer like any good mother should. After I finished my morning workout (like I said, "Ugh"), complete with fussy children and a team of cheerleaders bouncing around an aerobic step on the television, I decided I needed a mood change while I continued on my domestic journey.

In keeping with my new resolution to be more musical, I put on a CD while I fed the girlies some breakfast. What could be more cheerful and carefree as The Slipper and the Rose soundtrack? The silly songs and romantic melodies took me back into my childhood, remembering my awe of the French Revolution period costumes, the white wigs, the delicate young girl turned into a servant who somehow still looked a bit "come hither" in her peasant garb, and a tall prince whose eyes were spaced too far apart to look completely human. With a mouth full of cheerios, Buttercup began pelting me with questions. "Who is this singing?" "What is she singing about?" "Why does she miss the prince?" "Does the prince love Cinderella?" "Will they get married?" etc. etc. Although Buttercup is familiar with Disney's version of Cinderella, she was aware that this was a different version and was anticipating plot twists. During Cinderella's woeful ballad, Once I Was Loved, Buttercup declared that this was her favorite song! and while listening to the Prince and his sidekick sing What a Comforting Thing to Know, she stated that this was Daddy's favorite song. Huh.

Anywho, I got thinking of all the different versions of Cinderella there are, how the story is so timeless that it is done again and again. And still, some of the stories keep us on our toes just as much as Buttercup was this morning, wondering when and if the Prince and Cinderella will have a happy, romantic ending. For me, Disney's Cinderella is the fairy tale Bible. It is the original version to go back to for story facts, truths, and basics. For most children, this movie is their introduction to the Cinderella story.

A few years after my initial Cinderella cinematic experience, I viewed The Slipper and the Rose. Much joy followed as I learned all the songs and mimicked the dancing and voice influxions. Jayni, my cousin Liz, and I would rewind all the love songs and sing them together over and over. What makes this particular version unique is Cinderella's self-sacrifice for the Kingdom (because apparently if she marries the Prince, their nation will go to war and cease to exist), by having the Prince's steward relay to the Prince that Cinderella left him because she was heartless and wicked. Ah, the drama! Nevertheless, Prince Charming finds Cinderella wherever she has been hidden and they unite eternally in wedded bliss.

A friend introduced me to the Roger and Hammerstein version in my pre-teens. After The Slipper and the Rose I wasn't impressed. Sure, it was all a bit witty, but there was no real depth of emotion or plot involved. It does deserve a nod since Julie Andrews starred in the original, but after casting Brandy of all people in the strangely politically correct modern version, I don't waste my time with it.

Ever After came out my sophomore year of high school, and I remember it well. It is always shocking to me to think of how much I loathe Drew Barrymore, and yet I love several of her movies! In Ever After I was able to look past Drew's terrible accent and acting abilities and focus on more important things--like Dougray Scott. I watched this movie over and over, soaking in the period costuming, and the more interesting plot. The prince actually has a name--Henry--as well as a personality in this film. He became less an objective goal (such as wealth, station, riches, and the all-encompassing love), and more of a human with goals and a journey of his own throughout the story. This was not a man with salamander-like eyes; he was a man a girl could fall in love with. And I did.

I'm not sure which of the two came out next--Ella Enchanted or A Cinderella Story--but despite the obvious title of the latter, I favor the creativity of the former as being more "cinderella-ish". Ella Enchanted is placed in a magic medieval time period, bumped up with modern mannerisms. Anne Hatheway does a fantastic job of portraying the pitiable but likable Ella, who is bound by a curse to always be obedient. Ella is quite a liberal for her setting, and shapes the plot as she attempts to convince Prince Char that he can change the kingdom for the better. For me this movie is a must-have, fun to watch and giggle about with sisters and girlfriends. In contrast, I found A Cinderella Story to be cliche and predictable--only different by adding highschool and technology. There were a few good laughs over the over-glamourized stepmother and dense stepsisters, but the acting was borderline cheesy, and let's face it, Hillary Duff learned the bulk of her acting skills on the Disney Channel--never a good recommendation.

Did I cover them all? I hope so; I hope there aren't any more in the making out there for awhile. We need a break from Cinderella, and it might be fun to delve into some new stories. My advice for those endevoring to recreate a fairy tale? Awesome costumes, mix the story up a bit (more character depth etc.), and hott men. Good luck.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

"Getting to Know You. . . Getting to Hope You Like Me"

I received a surprising email from my mother recently where she sent me the "2008 edition of Getting to Know Your Friends". She filled it all out and I have to send it back. Addmittedly, I never do these things, but I figured I could humor my mom this time. Also, I am posting my answers in this blog so that there are no longer any secrets:) And I am embarrassed about a lot of these answers.......but I will do my best to be truthful!

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:30. Not by choice, the children were screaming.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
3. Last movie you saw? "As You Like It". Shakespeare and directed by Kenneth Branaugh. Definitely recommend it.
4. What is your favorite TV show? I hate to admit it but I find The Bachelor very entertaining. The girls are so catty! Also I am currently loving "Miss Guided".
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? A slimfast shake with a banana blended in. YUM.
6. What is your middle name? "(I have deleted this answer for security purposes).
7. What food do you dislike? Eggrolls. They always smell so good and taste so foul.
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Garth Brooks "Ropin' The Wind".
9. What kind of car do you drive? Ford Taurus.
10. Favorite sandwich? Charming's Booby Dazzler. It's not as scandelous as it sounds. Just an amazing ham sandwich on an onion bagel.
11. What characteristic do you despise? Being cliquey--that's so highschool.
12. Favorite item of clothing? Hott girl jeans and my burnt orange blouse.
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Definitely England--more specifically Bath. I want to live my Jane Austen fantasies.
14. What color is your bathroom? Yucky. Blah-white with purple and green accents.
15. Favorite brand of clothing? I'm not sure about brand, but I love Kohls.
16. Where would you retire? Charming and I were just talking about what our "mansion in heaven" is going to be like. Pretty much a ranch with horses surrounded by big, gorgeous mountains and a lake full of fish nearby. There will be plenty of peaceful spots for me to read.
17. What was your most memorable birthday? I remember turning 18 and HRH and I went to Salt Lake City on tracks to celebrate my adulthood.
18. Favorite sport to watch? BYU football.
19. Farthest place you are sending this? I'm not really sending this anywhere, but maybe my mother-in-law will read it in California.
20. Who do you least expect to send this back? Again, I'm not "sending" this, but my husband will never fill one of these out.
21. Person you expect to send it back first? I have no clue. I forgive you all for your neglegence.
22. Favorite saying? "My children are the spawn of hell, and you're the devil!" It's from "Overboard", and funny to say to Charming after a hard day.
23. When is your birthday? April
24. Are you a morning person or a night person? Definitely a night person. I'd stay up forever if I didn't realize that morning was coming along with all my domestic duties.
25. What is your shoe size? 9
26. Pets? HECK NO. Not even a goldfish.
27. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? News.....We got our tax returns back and I am going to buy some running shoes! I know, shocking. I think I'll spend a little on my spring wardrobe as well.....
28. What did you want to be when you were little? I remember very clearly watching The Little Mermaid and thinking, "Whoever did her voice, I could sing just as good as her." So I guess I wanted to be Ariel's Voice.
29. What are you now? Wife, mother, homemaker, sister, daughter, friend.
30. What is your favorite candy? Lately it has been the stash of Cadbury Cream Eggs Charming hid from me in the laundry room.
31. What is your favorite flower? Soft pink Roses.
32. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? June 28th, the day we are done driving and finally arrive in Utah! Home.....
33. What church do you attend? The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
34. What is your full name? Including my maiden name it would be (Removed for security purposes).
35. What are you listening to right now? "Bet On It" from High School Musical 2. I am not ashamed.
36. What was the last thing you ate? An orange.
37. Do you wish on stars? Once upon a time.
38. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Cornflower Blue.
39. How is the weather right now? Cloudy and not warm enough. 40 degrees.
40. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Jayni. She has pity on my boring life and so always keeps me updated.
41. Do you like the person who sent this to you? My mother is a star:)
42. Favorite soft drink? Eww. Water please.
43. Favorite restaurant? Olive Garden.
44. Hair color? My hair color is officially "Yucky". Previously blonde but not dark enough to be brown. Just a good mixture of blich. When my husband has a salary, I will have gorgeous highlights!
46. Favorite day of the year? Christmas Eve and Day! What could be more magical?
47. What was your favorite toy as a child? My She-Ra (sp?) doll.
48. Summer or winter? Neither, I choose Spring and Fall.
49. Hugs or Kisses? Depends on my mood and who's asking....
50. Chocolate or Vanilla? CHOCOLATE
51. Do you want your friends to email you back? Heck yes.
52. When was the last time you cried? A couple days ago. It's a common occurance, don't be disturbed.
53. What is under your bed? Blankets. It's pretty organized.
55. What did you do last night? I watched American Idol with Charming and the girlies and read my book.
56. Favorite smell? A newly cut evergreen tree. And whatever is cooking at my mom's house on Fast Sunday.
57. What are you afraid of? Chickens.
58. Plain, buttered, or salted Popcorn? Just a little bit of butter thanks, and a good amount of salt.
59. How many keys on your key ring? 3
60. How many years at your current job? Just over 3 years.
61. Favorite day of the week? Sunday--that's when I get to talk to my family on the webcam!
62. How many towns have you lived in? 1-LaVista 2-Mountain Home AFB 3-Alpine 4-Provo 5-Salinas 6-Orem 7-Boise 8-(Where do you think I live now?)
63. Do you make friends easily? It takes a lot more effort than I think people realize.
64. How many people will you be sending this to? I don't know. How many people read this blog?


Book Tag

Book tagging is going around and I was tagged by Sofia. The instructions are:

Pick up the nearest book
Turn to page 123
Post the 5th sentence.

On and off I have been reading Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling by Richard Lyman Bushman. Here is what it says:

"The revelation on the millennial gathering brought all the routine activities of everyday life into question."

Interesting? Probably only in context. I tag whoever else is reading this and hasn't done it yet.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

I'm Gonna Cross-Stitch It and Put It On My Wall

Knowing that General Conference has been approaching these last few weeks, I've been trying to come up with a question I need answered or a topic to look for--I guess mostly because that is always what we are told to do, and then we read stories all about people's special experiences in the Ensign. I admit that I approached the idea a bit lazily, mainly because my issues and questions are just about always the same. The answers are also obvious, and easy to address in Sunday School--though not so easy in practice. Plus, I really didn't think anyone was going to give a sermon over the pulpit about the difficulties of finger puppets and cheerios in Sacrament Meeting, let alone how motherhood can cause boredom and guilt.

So I never put my finger on a particular topic or question for conference. I knew I needed something but I didn't really want to think about what it was. I have "problems" that need help or encouragement--unfortunately when the help and answers came I was dealing with both those little problems and they were on my lap trying to steal my pen to draw on the couch and poking each other and whining at me. Despite the chaos, I believe I picked up the gist of the message. Although my notes weren't extensive (again, Lou Lou wanted my pen), I remember the feeling well, now three hours later. I felt that someone understood my life. Someone saw what I do everyday, and not only that, they knew how I felt about it. When has Elder Ballard ever been to my house?

I knew at that moment that even though I didn't ask my particular question (at least in particular for Conference) I have been searching a long time for encouragement in the motherhood arena. After Elder Ballard's talk this afternoon I feel reassured that the Lord knows me, my situation, and the thoughts and intents of my heart. "Ah!" you say "that talk could be applied to any young mother, and probably all young mothers that heard it felt the same way you did." It probably can and they probably do. I'm glad for those mothers. But mostly I'm glad for me. I have received understanding and been given direction from the Lord in a specific way on the topic I deal with everyday--motherhood. Motherhood is wonderful and meaningful, but it is also difficult and at times exhausting. But it is doable. And I can do it. Successfully. Without doing permanent damage to my children or myself:)

Thank you Elder M. Russell Ballard. When the Ensign comes out, I will cross-stitch your talk and put it on my wall.

Friday, April 4, 2008

The Music We Made

I am not particularly amazing at anything. This idea is not self-depracating however--just a truth I have come to grips with. Sure, there are plenty of things that I do alright, and many more things that I enjoy. I am not an avid scrapbooker, decorator, dancer, etc. I do enjoy these activities on some level. I love to cook, read, study history, and play with my children--but I don't consider myself an expert in any of these areas:) I am okay with this; I believe it makes me a well-rounded individual who doesn't take herself too seriously.

There was a time when if I was asked to tell about myself, the first thing I would have thought of was that I was a singer. That was the one thing I was always confident about as a teenager--I could sing the socks off anybody I met. Not that it was a competition, but I knew I had talent and it gave me a reason, a purpose, a sense of belonging and identity. As the years have gone by I have stopped singing for reasons unknown. A few years back I realized that I had stopped singing in the shower and I never put on music when I was puttering around the house. I suppose that leaving my childhood home where loud music and singing were accepted and even encouraged had changed the way I went about my routine--hence the rest of my life.

Lately I have felt the void the absence of music has left, and I find myself struggling to bring it back. Something has happened that I would previously have never thought possible--my voice got rusty. I can't sing like I used to. The high notes I used to soar on and the belting that came as easily as breathing are gone. I find myself pushing with my throat and to my dismay my pitch is suffering. I want it all back, but it feels like opportunity is gone and wasted.

I don't want my voice back for my own vanity. Of course it has always been lovely to be complimented and held in awe, but there's so much more to singing than the pedestal. Singing was my outlet, how I expressed my emotions and shared myself. Music is also the way I learn best about the world. Subjects are raw and felt more deeply went put to music. I have always felt stronger when I have sung my thoughts and feelings. The reality of this reaches deep. I believe I gained my testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, and the assured knowledge of who I am, through music I have sung. Not being free to express myself musically has taken part of that conviction from me. Not that my testimony has been lessened--but I know my conviction is always stronger when the music touches my heart.

So that's where I am. What to do? How to correct this part of me that I have inadvertently let go? I am lucky enough to have a keyboard on loan for an unspecified amount of time (thanks Sofia), and dozens of illegal copies of beautiful music (thanks Jayni). No, I do not play the piano well (sorry Mom, you were right). But as I have contemplated the tragedy of my quitting the piano in the seventh grade and thinking it was too late, I have realized that I am not yet twenty-five, and although I am a wife and mother, I am still young and can learn new things. So I have committed to spend some time every day on the piano practicing and singing the songs that thrill me. I don't care if anybody else ever hears me (and at the present that might be for the best). I am going to push forward and reclaim my identity and love for music by expressing myself through song.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Positive Thoughts

If you're already bored (see how confident I am), know that I will overcome technology and make this page more exciting in the near future. Heck, I have a facebook account--that makes me cool, right?

And So We Begin

Okay world, I'm not exactly sure how or why, but I've decided to blog. In a fit of absolute frustration and boredom (and very possibly hormones) this evening I came to the conclusion that a blog would be the perfect place to let it all out. The confusing part is that "letting it out" could be very limited. Or then again perhaps I may find that my life is more exciting than I originally supposed. From my experience with other people's blogs I have found that it is not always events that make a blog worth reading, but rather the thoughts and ideas of the blogger.

Who knows what will happen? I may end up with a list of things my children do everyday--and that's not bad--or I may wax eloquent and "find myself", the Megs who is frequently hiding under the mommy facade. That remains to be seen.

In my burst of decision I came to a grinding halt when asked for a title for my blog. Is my creativity that depleted? Or am I just not as interesting as I had hoped? Charming thought I should say something about being a woman on the prarie (here in North Dakota that would be relevant). I was thinking more along the lines of "Confessions of a (fill in the blank)." But my adoring public (haha) knows best. If you have any great ideas let me know and then perhaps I can remove the question marks that grace the title page!

EDIT: I have put "Confessions of a Former Blonde" as the current title of my page. This is mainly because the question marks were so obnoxious and something had to be done. Please continue to feel free to suggest titles and whatnot!