Friday, May 29, 2009

Here you go.

As of late I have been constantly writing blog posts in my head, with the idea that sooner or later (sooner rather than later) I would actually put these thoughts on the screen. Funny enough, once I accomplish my "head blog", I feel fulfilled enough from my train of thought to forget about actually posting. Today I want to actually get my thoughts down so they can become officially known to the internet and my posterity (if they ever bother with it).

The last six months of my life have been changing ones for me. I started out with many expectations of what my immediate future would hold, and then I pretty much demanded the universe to grant my requests. An attitude like that rarely gets you far, and this is where the Lord stepped in to teach me a long awaited lesson. The thought of "being taught a lesson" is usually not very appealing, but I have found to the contrary that the lessons, the knowledge, the understanding, and the enlightenment are incredible gifts I hope I will never be without.

Have the things I expected finally been granted me? No--but in return I have been given far more than I asked. I feel as though I'm swimming in blessings and happiness that I never knew before how to touch. My burden is lighter, my heart is bigger, my capacity to love is stronger. I am learning to listen and learn and enjoy life as it is presented to me. I have motivation to do and be things I never thought I would find the will for.

Yes, I still yearn and hope and pray for the experiences and the blessings I am without, but in the meantime my life is full and complete. I am playing with my children, reading stories, going on walks, cooking meals, organizing and decorating, teaching, having deep conversations, pondering and praying, gardening, making goals, learning, listening to beautiful music, smelling (the actual) flowers, and laughing because it feels good. In short, I am happy.

That is all. For now.

8 comments:

Heidi and Matt said...

What a beautiful post. Always seems to happen like that...he knows what we need more than we do. So happy you're happy

Shelley said...

Well written. I'm just so glad that there is someone out there who knows us better than we know ourselves. Thanks again for taking care of everything for us. Hope Alex's clinical is going well!

heidikins said...

I have a theory--those who are truly happy don't necessarily blog. Those who blog about being sooo happy every single 3 minutes are generally lying. And those who blog regularly are generally whining about something (see: my website).

I am so glad you're genuinely happy, it warms the cockles of my ever-complaining heart. ;o)

xox

Jayni said...

Oh Megs I just love you so much. Hope you know that! I'm so happy you are happy! LOVE YOU!

Alicia said...

Hi Megan! I hope that you are doing well!!! If you ever need to talk to anyone I am here! We all go through things in our lives for a reason, whatever it might be, but we can all pull together and help each other out. It is comforting to hear those simple words "I have been there before" or "I truly know how you feel". I hope that all is going well with you. We will be back in ND sometime next week. We will have to get together and play! :)

Sofia Dowse said...

Hey - you're in the Ensign! Did ya know it? Anyways - I lost my phone cord and am without communication, but I think you are swell and I love you a bunch!

Janette Rallison said...

I just had similar thoughts. I'm still without something I've wanted for a long time, but I've suddenly realized all of the things I've learned and the blessings I have because I didn't get my wish when I wanted it. I guess that's the whole point of life, isn't it?

Mrs Ana said...

You and I are more alike than I thought. I've had feelings like for most of the years that I've here. I can totally relate to that yearning for things I want so badly to happen. I finally found peace in attending the temple. I went with the purpose of resolving my issues with myself. I found a great passage in the BofM that helped me see everything clearly.