Saturday, April 4, 2009

Please don't be offended just because I have weird dreams. Put your scoffing to good use and give me a reason!

I tossed and turned last night in bed, lost in one of those awful dreams where you can't accomplish your purpose. You know--like when you want to run away and you're stuck, or you need to dial 911 and you just can't seem to get the sequence right. Well last night my plight of pity was bra shopping and trying desperately to find the right size.

I remember pilfering feverishly through racks and racks of all different types of bras, finally narrowing them down to a nice white padded bra. But oh dear me I couldn't find my size! They had every size imaginable of this particular bra except for mine. I was throwing stuff off shelves when finally the sales lady came to give me a hand and asked if she could measure me. (I'm used to this sort of awesome treatment because, and here's a confession--I only bra shop at Victoria's Secret. Makes a girl feel nice, inside and out. Ah-hem. Moving on.) I lifted up my arms obediently and rolled my eyes like "Again! You'd think a girl would know her bra size." But then the most amazing thing happened. The sales clerk/brazier measurer expert royally dubbed me a 32 D.

So. Happy.

I had officially gone from average circumference and volume to trim and well-endowed! Needless to say there were plenty of bras in that size around the store, and many on clearance--because, let's face it, not very many people are blessed with my figure. (And after nursing two babies too!)

So what does all this mean? I vote for meaningless, but I bet you could come up with something much better than that, probably a horrific background story involving my adolescence and a date gone wrong. Let me know what you come up with.

On a related note, here's a big bra for you:

Also one more thing to destroy your day: Whenever you hear the beautiful classic song Edelweiss from The Sound of Music, think of your bra. It'll put a smile to your face and ruin that special song for you forever!

That is all.


Nicole Casey said...

your awesome. Thanks for the laugh! Now if you could just figure out how to make me a 32 D as well! Hope your doing well!

Katie said...

That is great. What a hilarious nightmare/dream. Being a D would be heaven for me. A C would be even better.
Oh and I like Victoria's Secret too. Don't worry.

Mikelle and Ben said...

Oh yes! Long ago, a friend at girls camp enlightened me on the whole Edelweiss thing! That song has never been the same since...:)

Tay and Liz said...

Hahahaha!! I've never heard of the Edelweiss thing with the bra concept! That is hilarious, thanks for the extra smile on my face today :)

Miss Erika said...

I am totally a VS girl. There are somethings that shouldn't be scrimped on. Bra's, Toilet Paper, and your bedsheet's.

Jann said...

This post was classic! Loved it! Love VS as well! Mmmm, the dream? I will have to think on that one! Haha :)

Pitcher Family said...

One of these days you've got to write a book. It's all so entertaining!